Bound and Unbroken Read online

  Lena

  It was late afternoon when Lena stepped off the bus and stared down at the black screen on her phone. Some people simply shouldn’t be responsible for cellphones—if she wasn’t putting it into inconspicuous places and losing it, or dropping it in parking lots, it was dying or dead. And right now, she had the latter problem, with no real means of resolving it until she got home—but then there was the matter of getting home when she couldn’t call anyone to pick her up.

  She dropped her bag onto a bench, then crashed next to it. Jeremiah would still be at work, and that was the only local number she knew off the top of her head—which left her with very few options besides walking somewhere.

  Miah’s right, I really need to socialize more often. The only place she could think of where she might know someone was four blocks away, and probably not even open. But, she slung her bag over her shoulder and began the walk, at least it was in the direction of home, although she doubted she could make the walk clear across town.

  By the time Diggers Sports Bar came into view, her feet already ached, but at least there was a car parked in back. The same car, she recalled that was parked outside of the BDSM club on Friday night. She stopped at the corner and leaned against the light post. Maybe Cade would take pity and not drag her straight to Eric, but from what she’d seen of him, that was doubtful. She considered turning back, looking for some other option, but movement caught her eye.

  Cade was about to climb inside his car.

  Damn it. Still a few hundred feet away, she yelled his name and waved. His head jerked up, but he leaned his arms over the roof of his car when he saw her.

  No, she was definitely in for it. On every side.

  “And where have you been, little lady?” he asked, when she was finally within talking distance.

  “I had to go visit my sister.”

  “Shall we debate the meaning of ‘had to go’?” He squinted, giving her a look that dared her to take a step further.

  “No, Sir.” She hoped niceties would at least gain her some leverage. “I just got off the bus, and my phone is dead, and I didn’t know where else—“

  “You’re lucky I was still here.” Cade pulled his phone out of his pocket, tapped it a few times and handed it to her.

  “Um,” her hand shook as she reached for it, and she saw that he’d brought up Eric’s number. Her stomach bottomed out, and she closed her eyes. “Is he pissed?”

  “That you ran off without so much as saying a word? I’d say worried out of his mind is a better description.”

  She frowned at the phone a second time.

  “Call him, Lena,” Cade ordered. “Get it over with.”

  She rubbed her hand down her face and pressed the button.

  Three rings, four rings, maybe he wouldn’t answer. A fifth ring— “Hey.”

  Shit. Lena opened her mouth.

  “Cade?”

  “No. Not exactly.” Her tongue fought against her teeth with every syllable, but she managed to get out the words.

  “Lena?”

  “Yeah, sorry. I just got back.”

  “And you’re staying?”

  Of course she was staying, it’s not like she had planned to move out of town. But she knew that wasn’t the real meaning of his question. “Yes.”

  “Let me talk to Cade.”

  Perfect, maybe he really didn’t want to talk to her. She handed the phone across the car. “He wants to talk to you.”

  She heard Cade exchange a few monosyllabic responses, then say, “No problem, I’ll drop her off at your house on the way.”

  His house? Lena glared at him as he disconnected the phone but as soon as he looked up, her resolve wavered, and she looked down at the hood of the car. “I don’t get a say in where I’m going, do I?”

  “Not for now. You two need to talk, and he’s right, it’s probably best you don’t do it on the phone.”

  “Is he going to break up with me?”

  Cade snorted and pressed the button to unlock her door. “You’ll wish you could get off the hook that easily. Get in the car.”

  Her heart pounded as she reached for the door handle and slid inside, but she didn’t feel afraid any longer, just nervous and inexplicably excited. She tucked her bag in next to her feet, then rubbed her sweaty palms on her jeans. “Did you know?”

  “Did I know what?” Cade put his hand on the back of her seat as he prepared to back up the car, and Lena suddenly wished she’d waited until they were on the road so he couldn’t stare at her so intently.

  “That I was—is it that obvious that I’m submissive?”

  Cade erupted with a loud chuckled and shook his head. “No. I might have noticed if you ever interacted with me, but you kept to yourself and I didn’t exactly study you.”

  “Then, how did Eric know?”

  “He sat next to you because there was an empty seat. Started flirting with you because he thought you were cute. He didn’t realize you were also a submissive until he pushed your buttons.” He glanced over and patted her arm. “It’s been a heck of a ride for the both of you, but the simple fact of it is that you were lucky to meet, and you mesh together well.”

  Lena inhaled and leaned her temple against the window. “And Jeremiah, you’re not going to—“

  “Tell him about any of this? Honey, I don’t intend to tell him about my lifestyle let alone yours.”

  After a few minutes of silence as they passed through town, Lena began to recognize the neighborhood. She shifted around, unable to contain her twitchy and tense muscles.

  Cade parked at the curb, and Lena started to get out, but his hand came down on her knee. “He was at his parents’ house, he’ll be a few minutes behind us.”

  She nodded and took a long breath, but her body still itched to be out of the car so she could at least walk off the excess adrenaline.

  “No matter how it seems from the outside. He needs as much from you as you do from him. Did you talk about why you freaked out the other night?”

  “Yes. I told him everything. But it feels like too many things are happening too fast.”

  “Life often does.”

  A black Land Rover pulled up behind them and into the driveway. Eric didn’t bother to put it in the garage; he climbed out and immediately headed for the car.

  “I’m about to face my doom.”

  “Be honest with him. It’s all you can do.”

  “Nothing like a pep talk from a pit bull.”

  Cade glared, and she reached for the handle just as Eric pulled the door open.

  “Thanks, Cade,” he said, looking right passed her.

  She shouldered her bag, but Eric took it, closed the car door, then took her by the back of the neck and pulled her into a kiss. Her mouth opened, welcoming his hot tongue. By the time they pulled apart, she didn’t think she could remain standing if not for his hands on her.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I shouldn’t have left without saying anything.”

  “No, you shouldn’t have. And now that our little reunion is over, we should address that fact.” He held her hand as they walked to the house, dropping it to let her in the house first, but as she passed, he smacked her ass and she jumped forward.

  “Ouch,” she said, rubbing the offended cheek. He’d smacked her plenty of times before but barely hard enough to leave a tingle.

  Without a word, he closed the door and locked it. Two more steps and he had her pinned to a wall.

  “What do you want?”

  That damn question again. Lena lowered her eyes. “You, Sir. I wanted to be sure, but I want to be yours.”

  Eric lifted her chin. “You ran away. You didn’t even tell me why, or that you were okay.”

  “I figured you had enough to deal with.”

  “Don’t give me that. It’s not how a relationship works—certainly not one I want to be in.”

  Lena would have nodded, but he was still holding her chin. “Y-yes, Sir.”

  “And
now you want to submit?” He took a step back and kicked off his shoes.” Is that just until things get hard?”

  “No.”

  He pointed to her feet, and she removed her shoes as well. Then he moved to the couch and took a seat. She waited, standing next to her shoes, trying to figure out what she was supposed to do. Waiting for his order. He patted the seat next to him, but she kept her eyes lowered as she moved and sat down.

  It wasn’t his lap—that’s where she really wanted to be.

  He pushed her hair back, traced the neckline of her shirt. “I care about you.”

  “Me too. I mean, I care about you. I didn’t set out to hurt you I just wanted—”

  “To hide?”

  She nodded. She wanted to hide now, too, before the tears that she felt boiling beneath the surface had a chance to spill over.

  “You can’t hide from me,” with a kiss to her forehead, his face hardened again. “Stand up. Pull you pants and underwear down to your knees.”

  She almost heaved forward as her stomach clenched, but despite the fear and uncertainty, she also felt herself grow wet. So, she stood, and did as commanded, feeling her face already flushing as he ran a hand over her bare ass.

  Then, in one swift motion, she was lying across his lap, bracing her hands on the floor. Oh, shit. “No!”

  “What’s your safeword?”

  “Driver,” she said, feeling even more blood rush to her face as she stared at the crème colored rug.

  “Do you need it now?”

  She swallowed, letting her muscles relax enough that her head drooped a little. “No.”

  “Do you trust me?”

  “Yes.” Although that seemed like it would be the harder of the two questions to answer, the word came instantly. And it was followed by a thwack across her left buttock. Although it startled her, it wasn’t so bad. The next came down on the right.

  Three, four, five, she counted in her head, setting her resolve to take whatever he gave her. At least until he got to eight. Each time his hand connected, it felt more forceful—and it didn’t help that her butt was getting more tender.

  “Eric,” she flung a hand back and started to struggle, but he’d stepped on the waistband of her pants with one foot, keeping her legs from moving, and one arm across the back of her chest immobilized the rest of her body as well.

  “Unless you’re using your safeword, be quiet.”

  She dug her fingernails into the carpet as he resumed, but she gave up on counting. Tears streaked her face, and she unsuccessfully tried to swallow down a sob before he heard it. Her ass burned, but at least that seemed to be canceling out the shock of each individual smack.

  Finally, he sat her up and pulled her legs free from her clothing. Her body involuntarily stiffened as her ass pressed against the rough fabric of his jeans. One more shaky breath and she let all of her emotions flow out.

  “I shouldn’t have run away from you. But the weekend, it was too much. Everything at once. And I… I had to find a release valve.”

  Eric reached around and squeezed her ass, causing her to jump again. “Does it hurt to sit on it?”

  “I’m sure you know it does.”

  “That was a rude answer. How about you get on your knees and straddle me.”

  Phrased like a question, but definitely not one. He helped lift her off his lap, as she moved a knee to each side of his hips.

  “Take off your shirt.”

  Her muscles tightened forcing out a groan. She curled her fingers around the bottom hem of her shirt and froze.

  “Now, Lena.”

  Closing the eyes, she lifted the material over her head and dropped it on the couch. Another tear dropped down her cheek as his thumb traced the cuts, now a few days old.

  “Does it still hurt?”

  “Only when you look at it.”

  “Look at me.”

  Her eyes followed the order, even though the last thing she wanted to see was his face. His hazel eyes burning into hers. The lines and layers of pain she’d caused.

  “We’d already talked about this. You didn’t have to run and hide it from me. You can talk to me.”

  Lena reached for her shirt, “Charlie’s going to be home soon.”

  “No, Sam is picking him up and giving us an extra hour to talk.” He stood, lifting her with him, then setting her on her feet and pulling her into the kitchen. He lifted her up and placed her on the counter, the cool stone actually felt like a relief to her sore butt, but she figured the sense of relief wasn’t going to last long.

  First, he pulled down a first aid kit and sat it next to her.

  “It’s fine Eric, they’re old and I already treated them.” But she sensed that he already knew that.

  “You’re mine?”

  “Yes.” She already had a sense of where he was going with that question—she’d injured something that belonged to him.

  “How would it make you feel if I asked you to swear that you’d never cut again?”

  She considered it, and her body began to shake. “Trapped. Terrified. Like you’ve stuck me on a boat in the middle of the ocean and took away the life vest. As long as nothing goes wrong, I’d be okay, but—”

  “That’s why I won’t ask you to stop.” He dragged both hands through her hair and held the sides of her face. “But I need you to understand.”

  Understand what? Lena licked her lips, but didn’t vocalize the words. She wasn’t sure she was ready to know.

  He pulled a new razor out of the utility drawer, and she tried to jump off the counter. “No, Eric. Whatever this is. No.”

  He caught her with one arm, making sure she stayed seated where he put her and dropped the razor on the counter then rolled up his sleeve.

  “No.” She kicked at the counter, trying to avoid hitting Eric, but at least cause enough of a fuss that he’d let her go.

  “One cut,” he said, pushing his waist between her legs, so she had nowhere to go. Then, he handed her the razor.

  She kept shaking her head. But he put the razor in her hand then pulled it up to his arm.

  “Driver. Damn it. Driver.”

  He released her hand, but they were both shaking. A tiny drop of blood formed where the corner of the razor had pierced his skin.

  “What the fuck was that?” Her hands curling at her sides until she wanted to shove them under her thighs to keep from hitting him.

  “An extreme way of getting my point across. This—” he touched her bare arm then kissed her shoulder, “—is my skin. I’m not going to ask you to stop, because I understand you feel like you need it. But, as long as you’re mine, you will ask permission before deliberately hurting yourself.”

  “Do you know how many people have tried to give me alternative coping mechanisms? I get in that mindset, and there’s only one thing I think about.”

  He handed her a piece of gauze. “I think you’ll remember this.”

  Tears blurred the room, but wiped the gauze against the small red drop, then stared down at the blotted material in her hand. “So, I ask your permission and you’ll let me slice myself open?”

  “We’ll figure that out on a case by case basis.”

  “What if you say no and I can’t stop?”

  “I wouldn’t set you up to deliberately disobey me, now would I?”

  “No, but don’t you dare ever tell me to cut you instead. Not an order,” she clarified at his raised eyebrow, “just one of those limits.”

  “Deal.”

  “Now that you’re done scaring the hell out of me. I’m ready for a nap.”

  Eric placed his hands on the counter on either side of her and leaned in. “You scared the hell out of me when you disappeared for three days.”

  “Fair enough. Would you have really made me cut you?”

  “I figured you’d use your safeword.” He kissed her head as she straightened. “Now, go get dressed, and I’ll run you home so you can pick up some clean clothes and pajamas.”

  “Pic
k up?” Lena wrapped her feet around Eric’s legs to keep him from backing away. “You’re not letting me out of your sight, are you?”

  “Not until I’m thoroughly convinced you’re okay. Besides, Charlie has been asking about you.”

  Lena scratched at the uneven edge of her thumbnail. More concerned over Charlie than the fact that she was still sitting in Eric’s kitchen in nothing more than a bra.

  “He’ll probably show off some of his new drawings. We’ll have dinner, watch a movie, and go to bed. Eric brushed his lips against hers, and wrapped his arms around her. His heat more relaxing than any bubble bath. “We’ll be honest with him Lena. He doesn’t need all the details, but believe me, he’s old enough to understand that you’re my girlfriend.”

  “I went back on birth control, last week.” The words popped out. “At the rate we were moving, I wanted to have backup—”

  “Last week?” Eric rubbed a hand over his eyes. “I guess since we hadn’t known each other that long I shouldn’t bother asking why you didn’t tell me sooner.”

  “Why would that matter?”

  “It would matter if, say, your birth control is hormone-based.”

  “Shit.” Lena straightening so fast she banged her head on the cabinet behind her.

  Eric pulled her against his chest and laughed. “I’m sorry, it’s not funny, but god, it’s all basically the perfect storm.”

  He pulled her off the countertop and let her slide to the floor, but she was in no rush to move away from his warm body.

  “Go get dressed, Sweetie. We have to beat Charlie and Dad.”

  Instead of moving, Lena rubbed her toes against the cold tile floor. “I have a whole bag of clothes in the living room; I just need a washing machine.”

  “If you’re avoiding going home because your ex is there, it’s a little late. I met him when I went there looking for you this morning. And I’m assuming that since your phone is dead, Jeremiah doesn’t know that you’re home.”

  Lena rocked onto the balls of her feet and then stepped back. She needed a breath of air that wasn’t coated in Eric’s scent, but he wasn’t about to give her space. Closing the distance, he lifted her chin.

  “It’s time you stop running, little Loner. ”